Where has that time gone? 3 years ago today everything changed. Did we want the change? Definitely not. Some things have got easier, some things haven’t. The thing that’s made the most difference is time. Time to grieve, time to process, time to heal. Although it’s not been as easy as that.
A lot has happened over the past 3 years that has had a significant impact on our lives. Some things have been good, made only possible because of our unfortunate circumstances. Our limitations were reduced dramatically meaning more things were achievable. This doesn’t mean we’re all happier though, quite the opposite. Knowing why we can do certain things easier now is a bitter pill to swallow. That is something difficult to deal with on a daily basis.
A tremendous amount of bad has also happened, too much for me to write about. Some things I can’t write about. All of it I am forced to deal with myself, day in day out. Its these things that make moving forward a lot more difficult. All of this hinders my ability to deal with the grief and it’s these matters that have a great impact on the children, through no doing of my own. I wish I could protect and shield them from these things, but it’s impossible.
But, 3 years on and we’re still here, somehow moving forward and still there for each other. The 4 of us have been put through an amazing amount of turmoil, but we pull together and help each other through. As a family. Like it should be. They are now 12, 8 and 6 and have endured more in the past 3 years that a lot of adults will have in a lifetime. I am so proud of them all and will always be. Simply put, they are amazing people I am proud to be a Dad to. And I am certain Lyanda would be proud of them all too.