The last of the ‘firsts’

Apart from some family birthdays, the last of the firsts for us in our house is done. The one year anniversary is now looming around the corner. It’s been a tough year and one I didn’t think I would get through. Somehow I am getting there. The kids are too.

I saw this poem on widowed and young, written by a young widow for all other people in the same situation. It describes everything pretty much perfectly. It’s too nice not to share.

Widow to Widow

I can see your sadness,
the way you blink back tears,
the way you smile and wave,
the way you hide your fears

I can see your sadness,
though others say you’re strong,
I know you’re feeling numbness
and not sure where you belong

I can see your sadness
the love of your life is gone,
everything is changing
and everything feels wrong

I can see your sadness
when you look in your chid’s eyes,
and say my darling I love you, and
how I wish daddy hadn’t died

I can see your sadness
your eyes puffed and rimmed with red,
you only do your crying
once the children are in bed

I can see your sadness
not knowing where to start,
how to make a new life
when you’re missing half your heart

I can see your sadness
as people move away,
your pain is so enormous
and they don’t know what to say

I can see your sadness
your exhaustion, and your fear,
because suddenly you realise
that death is always near

I can see your sadness
I feel so sad for you,
you see, I can see your sadness
because it’s my sadness too