And Christmas is over…

Christmas day went better than expected. The run up to it was a lot worse than the day itself. Lots of worrying, anxiety, stress and fear was difficult to manage. But Christmas happened for all the children, which is the important thing. Knowing Lyanda would want us to be happy on the day and that she would want the children to enjoy it helped.

It was tough, being the first Christmas without her. The children were missing her too, but we all pulled together and helped each other through. I had help from a few wonderful people throughout all of it. Without them I don’t know how i would have done it or got through it. Gifts were given to the children by people I don’t know, and a full Christmas meal was delivered to us to ease the hassle for myself. It turned out to be an OK day, instead of the nightmare I was expecting.

A couple of days after we went to my parents house. My brother and sister were there with their children too. A lot of anxiety going there, as that’s the village me and Lyanda first met and initially lived together. But the day went OK. Gifts were exchanged and everyone was helpful. All the kids were playing together and everyone helped to make sure it went as smooth as possible.

On new years eve we went to Lyanda’s parents. It was arranged for us to go there to have a second Christmas with them on new years day. Lyanda’s grandparents also joined us. We all got together to exchange presents, have Christmas Dinner together and enjoy each others company. It was really nice.

We hadn’t seen them since the funeral, so I was a bit hesitant at first not knowing what it would be like. As it happened, I needn’t have worried. It was a lovely visit, albeit weird without Lyanda. Lots of tears and memories. It is nice to realise I am still part of their family, not just the children.

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